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Faith

Can Christians Drink?

Glass with drink
I'm Stephanie May Wilson!

I'm an author and podcaster and my specialty is helping women navigate big decisions, life transitions β€” creating lives they love.

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Glass with drink

If I had to narrow my entire heart for this blog into one thought it would be this:

I want this to be a place that shows you what it’s like to be a Christian, in a real way, how it actually looks lived out.

I don’t want this to be a place that you come and leave feeling bad about yourself. I don’t want this to be a place where we put on happy masks, showing each other the polished up versions of what we THINK we’re supposed to look like.

I don’t want this to be a place that is a competition of who can behave better or who can balance more spinning plates perfectly.

I want this to be a place that’s real. A place that shows you an example of what it looks like when a person really loves Jesus with as much of their heart as they can muster, and steps aside to let him do the rest.

That being said, I know that something He requires of me in writing and being entrusted with 5 minutes of your time, is transparency- raw honesty.

And sometimes it’s not pretty… today it doesn’t feel pretty.

Today it feels sloppy and I know that today’s the day where I share with you a portion of my life that can be described perfectly in that one word.

β€œSloppy.”

Awhile back I wrote a blog about sex. I talked about my history with relationships and what Jesus did when I really allowed him to define what sex and passion and relationships look like.

But if I’m being completely honestβ€”sex was never my biggest struggle.

Alcohol was.

I can’t pinpoint a specific time, or moment where things really got going, but without realizing it, when I got to college I found myself in a group of friends that really, really took their partying seriously.

They partied hard and partied often, and I quickly learned to keep up.

Blackouts were common and laughed off. There was a whole group of friends that you’d have when you were wasted that you wouldn’t make eye contact with when you saw them in class. It was surprising when people DIDN’T show up at the breakfast table in the same clothes they wore the night before.

Parts of it were fun and parts of it felt like I had always hoped college would feel. I felt sophisticated and reckless at the same time. I felt rebellious, like I was outside of the rules that governed the rest of the world. I felt like I was experiencing all that youth had to offer.

And then that wore off.

It wore off into an almost perpetual hangover. I’d wake up five mornings a week, feeling like I wanted to die. I rarely went to class, usually drank off my hangover and spent a lot of college with my mind feeling like mush.

I got in arguments with people I loved, consistently lost my belongings, and put myself in some very dangerous situations.

And somehow in the midst of all of this, I just couldn't see that anything was wrong.

Partying was my culture. It’s what we did. I didn’t know anything outside of it.

And so when I met Jesus, I had a really big battle to fight.

I’d sit in our college ministry on Tuesday nights, uncomfortable and feeling out of place, but totally overwhelmed. I’d cry and cryβ€”literally weeping in my best friend’s lap, as I was so overwhelmed by the goodness happening around me. I couldn’t put my finger on what was happening, or what was stirring in me but I was surrounded by light for an hour giving me a break from the perpetual darkness that I didn’t even realize I was living in.

But as I would sit there, I’d also battle.

I could feel God tapping on my shoulder, wanting to talk to me about my partying, about my drinking, and I just didn’t want to hear it. I’d spend hours in church coming up with rationalizations and agreements. β€œJesusβ€” what if I only have three beers a night? Three. That’s like nothing!” But nothing satisfied Him.

I’d leave church on Tuesday nights and head down to Pearl Streetβ€”to Taco Tuesdays where well drinks were only a dollar and most of CU’s senior class was taking full advantage.

I would do this week after weekβ€”go to church, argue with Jesus and then get drunk.

It was quite the cycle.

Things changed drastically after I went on my first mission trip to Costa Rica.

It was there that I made my first group ofΒ Christian friends. They were kind, and funny, and silly, and wonderful. And I was shocked at the amount of fun we had while being totally sober.

I felt seen on that tripβ€”I felt like people wanted to get to know me for who I really wasβ€”without a cocktail and a miniskirt.

I laughed more in those ten days than I ever had, and alcohol wasn’t even an option.

It blew my mind.

I came back from Costa Rica with an entirely new group of best friends, and things just changed.

I had people to hang out with on Friday nights that weren’t going to be partying. I had fun things to do that actually were MORE fun than standing around at a bar, looking the best that I could, and hoping that someone would notice me.

We went sledding after dark, played on playgrounds in the snow, dominated laser tag, explored Denver, and enjoyed life in a way that I’d never experienced before. Life was fun and missing the elements that I had gotten so used to: alcohol, hangovers, shame, and mess.

I felt freeβ€”for the most part.

But God still didn’t let up.

For my 22nd birthday, I went to Las Vegas and really went all out.

I was in bed by 1AM on my birthday, having gotten too drunk too quickly and understanding that my limit had been more than exceeded.

The next day we continued our road trip, heading up the coast and finally ending up in Portlandβ€”the hometown of my best friend Kelsey.

We sat in her church that Sunday and I wrestled. I begged God to leave me alone, to give me the ability to have one drinkβ€”just one.

It seemed absolutely impossible to walk away completely after what the past eight years had just looked like.

But He insisted.

So sitting on Kelsey’s bed, I promised my best friends, and Jesus, that I wouldn’t drink for an entire year.

It was one of the biggest commitments I've ever made.

I woke up the next morning feeling a thousand pounds lighter. The sun was shining brighter than I had remembered it and I was flooded with relief.

It was over.

The shame, the guilt, the mess, the perpetual hangovers, the blackouts, the fights, the toll that it had all taken on my body and my heartβ€”it was all over.

And I was freeβ€”for real this time.

In that next year, many things changed, and a few stayed perfectly the same.

Before you think that I'm about to tell you that fun is a sin… let me tell you that I'm a really fantastic partier.

I will celebrate with the best of them. You are likely to find me in the middle of the dance floor showing off my moves, wearing some sort of crazy costume and probably looking ridiculousβ€”but you can be sure that I’m having a blast.

And the thing that I got to realize in that year without alcohol (a year that I completed successfully), was that the β€˜partier’ didn’t go away, and neither did my fun.

It was the best year of my lifeβ€”to that point.

That year was up a long time ago, and since then I’ve had to reevaluate again how I feel about alcohol and it’s role in my life.

I do drinkβ€”sometimes more than others, and sometimes not at allβ€”and I still absolutely love to go out with my friends.

Beer and wine and cocktails and fun nights out are all really great things, and I want toΒ explode the myth that being a Christian isn’t the most fun that you can possibly have. Because my life and my friends refute that with everything we are.

Reevaluating alcohol’s role in your life DOES NOT mean you have to trade in your party pants for a turtleneck and an apple juice. And my friends and I have learned that the awesome way.

But that doesn’t mean that we’ve always had this freedom.

Alcohol and drinking are often a symptom of a bigger issue. People drink when they’re trying to avoid what’s going on in their lives, to feel confident, to feel loved, to feel accepted, to quiet the voices in their mind that are telling them something they don’t want to hear, to hide, to escape and to drown out pain. And none of those things are good.

Alcohol isn’t going to fix the problems in your life, it’s only going to make them worse. And that’s something that I spent a LONG time learning the hard way.

My wish would be that everyone would be able to glorify God with everything they areβ€”to toast to Him with a fist pump and a glass of champagne. But for me, it took me a long time to get to a place where that was healthy.

I still am incredibly carefulβ€”aware that alcohol is one of those things that gets slippery and can slide out of control when you’re not paying attention.

But with a pure heart and in moderation, it adds some sparkle & pop to even the best moments.

So here’s my prayer today.

I pray that right now you’ll be really honest with yourself about the role that alcohol plays in your life.

I pray that you really evaluate your drinking and if you’re drinking for reasons of avoidance or insecurity.

I pray that if you don’t drink- that you consider your reasoning and make sure that you’re not binding yourself up under a law when what Jesus wants for you is freedom.

I also pray that if you don’t drink- that you ensure that it’s not something that causes you to judge and condemn others. That’s not from God either.

I pray that we can all understand in the deepest places of our hearts that God LOVES us deeply and forever- and that we can’t earn his love with β€˜behavior modification.’

I pray that we can all take a moment to consider what our actions do to those around us and to the name of Jesus for those that don’t know Him and associate our actions with His character.

I pray for freedom from the lie that being a Christian is boring and that having fun is a β€˜sin.’ It’s not.

And I pray for freedom for all of us, from addictions, from having things like alcohol control our lives, from the laws that we bind ourselves in, and from lies about who we are and who God is.

I pray that we can all shake and laugh and toast and celebrate the beautiful gift of life that God has given us, and that we can honor and thank and glorify Him in everything we do.

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  1. Rachel W says:

    Wow – thanks for sharing. The part that you shared about being worried that you’ll go back there again, that’s what scares me sometimes. It’s good to have your witness, the reminder that those days are over, that we’re FREE! Praise God for his patience and love!

  2. Reblogged this on love is a deeper season and commented:
    Absolutely amazing! A must read for those who love to see Jesus dive into the depths of the nitty gritty! That’s who He is, after all! πŸ™‚

  3. Stephanie says:

    Thank you Shelby and Rachel!! You two are wonderful. πŸ™‚

  4. Nick B says:

    Great real-life snapshot of the power of Jesus over every situation – even the ones where we think we’re too messed up or too far gone to be healed. Steph and Rachel, I know what you’re saying about the fear of falling back into old patterns… I believe it’s a huge encouragement to remember that that’s where you WERE before Jesus came and saved you, not where you ARE now. Remember that the old ‘you’ is gone! Dead! You belong to Jesus… and in the words of my pastor, “Jesus doesn’t share.” I don’t think it’s possible to have a passive slide back into pre-Jesus-encounter habits in the midst of a fruit-bearing relationship with Him, because Jesus is there to prevent that passive slide. He loves you both (and all of us) too much to share our souls with what He’s saved us out of. I think that’s truth. “Jesus came to a foreign country to find us, to heal us, to save us – even when we were most unloveable.”

  5. Shakirat says:

    Hi Stephanie,

    Great post! I actually never cared for alcohol so I guess I’m lucky (?). However, I do know people who still live a similar life to what you described and I’m never sure how to connect with them but now I can refer them here to read about your experience and take it from there (Yay!). I would say my alcohol was dysfunctional relationships with guys, similarly a symptom of a bigger issue. Guys never fixed my problems either, in fact I found them to actually contribute to it every time they up and left!

    I like your β€˜realness’ in that the testimony wasn’t about you waking up one day and never struggling again, it was clearly a process and I can completely relate with that. Being in a good place now, the fear of slipping back is REAL so we need to believe that His Grace is sufficient and CHOOSE to utilise it. Air is readily available but it you decide not to breathe, the air is no use, though this doesn’t change the fact that it is there.

    Thank God for Jesus πŸ™‚

    Shakirat

    • Stephanie says:

      Thank you Shakirat!! You’re absolutely right- His grace is more than sufficient for us, we just have to accept it. πŸ™‚

  6. Connie says:

    You have a gift, placing your thoughts on this topic perfectly. For a long time I thought finding Christians with this type of open-mindedness was difficult. Thank God that you are sharing, I commend you for your honesty. Well done.

  7. Alison Uralli says:

    Hi, you spoke with me today at Stella’s, I was the blonde. I just read your most recent post, and I love it. It was (though very real and honest) really heart warming- actually more comforting than anything. It made me feel good inside it really did. I’ve tried going to church, praying, etc. so I might just have to wait for an experience like you had, when the time feels right. I think you are a REAL modern day christian, you’re not judgmental, and you’re not perfect, but you seem to live by the ways God would wish you to. Talking to you today, I can see you really radiate happiness and love when you talk, and youve really inspired me to take a second look πŸ™‚

  8. Leah says:

    I love this. so much. Your realness gets me every time. Thanks for blessing so many people through the words of your blog!

  9. Joshua Marshman says:

    Wonderful Stephanie! and i love the idea of the Lipstick Gospel; Spreading the Word of God through real-life people with real-life stories. You are truly a gift! πŸ™‚

  10. Joshua Marshman says:

    Hey Stephanie, This is great. And I so love the idea of the Lipstick Gospel; Sharing the Love of Jesus through real-life people telling real-life stories. Well Done. You are truly a blessing.

  11. Chinny says:

    What a fantastic, transparent post! So full of honesty and great storytelling and God speaking to me through your experience! I really wish I could write like you (I’ll try not to compare! lol). Still trying to find my voice but I greatly appreciate your truth, detailedness and boldness in telling your story and your freedom with God’s gentle grace and love. Wow. Just blown away by your story and your sense of humor:D I enjoyed the telling of the blacklight party with the beer on the floor, and you literally getting your feet wet into the party scene! Ha…I remember those days, not mention those beer-soaked floors accompanied by sweat from all the dancing! Anyway, I specifically loved how you wrote about how one doesn’t “have to trade in their party pants for a turtleneck and apple juice.” Turtleneck and apple juice…haha! LOVE it! That’s awesome how you are just a true partier/life of the party at heart. Jubliant came to mind. You’re a jubliant gal! I’m also glad that you discovered ways to truly have fun with believers that were much better than being in a bar. I struggle with that sometimes. I get conflicted with going to bars and drinking with certain friends versus a game night with Christian friends. Anyway, I’m very happy for you that you and God worked it out and overcame the drinking and the enemy’s lies. I also really love your prayer at the end of the post especially how God loves us and we can’t earn His love with “behavior modification” (love that because I struggle with it too) and how we should laugh, celebrate and toast the beautiful gift of life God has given us. You are destined to write a spectacular book someday if you haven’t started already! Thanks for your raw honesty and being so open. Stephanie. You are really being who God created you to be! As always, love your writing. Your transitions are flawless and timely, and word choice captivating! And this may be the longest comment on a blog! Hope the AIM gig and Georgia is treating you marvelously πŸ˜€

  12. melanie says:

    one of my friends just sent me this post and i really really loved it. thank you for your openness and honesty πŸ™‚ adding you to my google reader right now!

  13. melanie says:

    i just commented on this post but i am not sure if it worked! anyways, my friend sent me this post today and i am obsessed. love your honesty! πŸ™‚ cannot wait to read more of your posts.

  14. Sydney says:

    I know you wrote this a while ago but this is one of my favorite posts of yours! It speaks so much truth and it’s exactly what someone like me needed (and still needs) to hear! Coming from a girl who used to just like the girl you described, to someone who is trying to figure out how to love Jesus in the middle of it all, this post has helped me figure some of that mess out! Thank you so much for your transparency and openness with the situation!

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