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The Lipstick Gospel

An Aspiring Quitter

I'm Stephanie May Wilson!

I'm an author and podcaster and my specialty is helping women navigate big decisions, life transitions — creating lives they love.

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I’m discovering that the key to adulthood is priorities. I’m also discovering that the hardest part about adulthood is figuring out what your priorities actually are.


I’m discovering the hard way that both time and money are precious commodities and that you never have as much as you think you need.


I’m also learning that although I fully believe that your dreams can come true, that not ALL of your dreams can come true, at least not at once.


I’m learning that you can’t actually become the best writer in the world and the best cook in the world and the best girlfriend in the world and read an entire stack of books and be the best journalist in the world and be the best friend in the world and train for a marathon and have the cleanest, most pin-worthy apartment– you get the idea – all at the same time.


I’m learning that sometimes you have to pick and choose what’s going to be important in a season – that in order to grasp onto something fully, you must let go of something else.

An Aspiring Quitter - The Lipstick Gospel


And I’m learning how good that is.


I’m also learning how hard it is too.


It’s frustrating and humbling to admit that your entire to-do list can’t be completed all in a focused Thursday afternoon. It’s hard to realize that work has to be put away for awhile in order to give your relationships space to thrive– and that not everybody enjoys becoming an item on your to-do list right after ‘buy more toilet paper.’

An Aspiring Quitter - The Lipstick Gospel


This is even harder to put into practice, I’m realizing, because work is one of those pesky things that likes to remain right at the top of your mind, even when you’d rather be thinking about more fluffy, weekend-type things.


But again, I’m learning about priorities.


I’m learning that things can wait. I’m learning that sometimes work really can wait until Monday, or if a blog doesn’t go up promptly at 7am, that it’s really ok.


I’m learning that there’s a sweetness to tossing your cell phone in a drawer for the weekend, but that there’s a different (but equal) sweetness to picking it back up again on Monday and doing the hard work that you were made to do.

An Aspiring Quitter - The Lipstick Gospel


But most of all, I’m learning that priorities don’t happen on their own. If we’re not careful, our to-do lists can grow until we fall apart under the weight of them, and that if we don’t learn to say ‘no,’ we run the risk of actually going crazy. I’m learning that time has to be set apart, on purpose, and if it isn’t, it certainly wont happen on it’s own.


And I’m learning that this is ok.


I don’t want to live a mediocre life in every area that makes its way onto my list. I want to live a life that’s very much on purpose – intentional and chosen. I want my life to reflect what’s most important to me, and my time to be spent on the things that bring me, and those I love, life.


And that takes priorities. It takes some ruthless chopping as you notice things that snuck their way in without asking permission.


Bob Goff talks about how he quits something every Thursday. He is constantly editing his life, cutting out the things that clutter up what really matters.


“I used to be afraid of failing at something that really mattered to me, but now I'm more afraid of succeeding at things that don't matter.”


~ Bob Goff


So these days, I’m working on priorities. I’m an ‘aspiring quitter.’ I’m making lists of the ways I spend my time and cutting some out. It feels ruthless really, but once those things are gone, there’s room for the things that really matter.

An Aspiring Quitter - The Lipstick Gospel


I don’t want to successfully complete someone else’s life. I want to thrive in the one that’s perfectly designed for me.


What's taking you away from the life you were meant to live? 

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  1. K says:

    I’m learning this as well, Stephanie! Great post! 🙂 I am finishing Holley Gerth’s book “You’re Made for a God-Sized Dream,” and there’s a paragraph in her book about seasons and different dreams being a focus in different seasons. The eBook I’m currently writing is actually about the idea of embracing our seasons (and knowing that God has a purpose for each and every one). As I’ve mentioned here before, I’m still waiting on my dream of a creative partner, marriage, and a family, but I’m beyond blessed to be pursuing another dream in THIS season (writing a book!). Thanks for sharing. Have a wonderful day!

    • Stephanie says:

      I’m so glad that you’re living out YOUR God sized dream Katie! I love the focus on living the dream in THIS season. Such a good reminder to be present! Thank you so much for reading and for sharing a bit of your story with me! 🙂

  2. Nancy says:

    This is a lesson we all need to learn whether we’re working or not. As you said, we tend to let some things become priorities when they can be done later and vice versa. I am working on writing a list for what I want to accomplish and do the hardest ones first because I am a procrastinator. However, it’s also important to take breaks, especially on weekends. That way, when we come back to our list on Mondays, we’ll be fresh to start out on our list. I will work on this. Thanks for your blog.

    • Stephanie says:

      Thank you Nancy! It’s so important to do the hardest ones first. I’m so bad about that too! Thanks for the insight! Lots to think about. 🙂

  3. Great post. Deep question. There are some things percolating inside that aren’t for comments section publicity yet. But, yes, I have a list of things I need to quit. Good thing tomorrow is Thursday.

  4. SoniaLeticia says:

    I love Bob Goff’s quote about being successful at things that don’t matter, gives me fresh perspective about what truly is important in life. Thanks for posting this Stephanie 🙂

  5. Dawn Muench says:

    Uhmmm…. Remember how I keep saying “me too!”? Yeah- I’m pretty sure this is the last post I wrote in much more eloquent words!! Love it and as usual, TOTALLY agree! Thanks for sharing what you’re learning!

  6. Ryan Otto says:

    so inspiring….live life!….with and in Christ!,,,,Thank you!

    Love Does is my fav book!

  7. Reblogged this on Excerpts and commented:
    #growingup

  8. Catherine says:

    I’d say one of the things that’s keeping me from living the life I’m meant to live is my IDEA of what that life is. I’m constantly dwelling/thinking on/hoping for this life that is always outside my grasp. I think dreams are wonderful, useful things, but too often mine get in my way. They even get in God’s way, sometimes.

    • Stephanie says:

      I totally agree! I think that it has to be this combination of lying in the green grass on your side of the fence, and dwelling there instead of on what you don’t have. But simultaneously dreaming big about the future. It’s a strange and precarious line to walk, but it’s a beautiful one. 🙂 Thanks for reading Catherine!

  9. Erika says:

    I feel like you really hit the nail on the head with this post (I’m enjoying reading through your blog right now, by the way. I happened upon it from a comment on Allison Vesterfelt’s blog, I think, and I was struck at how much it resonated with me).

    Priorities… ah, I have never been good at prioritizing or determining what to give less weight to and what to give more weight to. I like to give one thing my full focus, but I have found that that has its consequences as well; I have to learn to step back and give other things attention sometimes so as not to undermine the things I do love.

    But this post so eloquently expresses the paradox of adulthood… of having all the time in the world that we would ever need and then none at all.

    “I don’t want to live a mediocre life in every area that makes its way onto my list. I want to live a life that’s very much on purpose – intentional and chosen. I want my life to reflect what’s most important to me, and my time to be spent on the things that bring me, and those I love, life.” I think this gets very much to the heart of what I am searching for right now… It’s getting harder to do the things I don’t care about, especially when they take time away from the things that make my heart sing.

  10. Vivian says:

    So, I’m a little late on reading this post. But, man you nailed it, Stephanie! Thank you for sharing. I learned sorting priorities the hard way. But now I’m shooting to live the life that I dream of and serving God no matter what the cost.

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