As I’m in and out of town for the next few weeks, I invited my sweet friend Anne to write a guest post for The Lipstick Gospel. Her words resonated with me in an incredible way, and I hope they do the same for you!
I’m a writer with big dreams. I am married to a good man, I live in a beautiful area of the world, and I have beautiful friendships.
But I’ve been having a hard time writing lately. In all honesty, I’m having a hard time doing much of anything.
Over the last few months, I’ve noticed that there is a huge block in my life, one that has been around for years, if I’m truly honest, and it’s keeping me from moving forward. It’s keeping me from being a person of action. It’s keeping me from living a better story.
Here’s the truth: in some dark and twisty place in my soul, I feel like I am not good enough to deserve the career or family or travels that I hope for and dream of. For whatever reason, I am living a story that is full of lies and judgments. A story that makes me feel small.
At some point in my life, I was fed a lie that I’m just not good enough. And I kept it close to me for all these years, holding it dear like a treasure, and made hardly any decisions without consulting it first. Opportunities to travel, write, meet new people – I let them all slip by out of fear that I was not deserving of joy and happiness.
I have believed, for way too long, that I am insufficient in some critical way, and that I’d be better, smarter, safer if I stayed back and let others go on without me.
This has got to stop. The beautiful and nourishing life that I so desperately crave is mine for the taking – I just have to reach out my hand.
It’s time to write my own story. A new one – one that is filled with color and light and music and laughter.
I spent the better part of yesterday writing down all of the things that I want and deserve. A trip to Europe, a kiss at the top of the Eiffel Tower, to write a book, to have a child. And then this morning, I made a list of what is true – positive and empowering statements about who I am and why I deserve the things I dream of. I am smart. I am honest. I am a good dancer. I work hard. I am a loyal friend. I am creative.
These are just the first steps. And it’s going to be hard and messy, and probably full of tears. But fighting against the lies I’ve harbored all these years, kicking them out while saying “This is not my story” until it finally sinks in – it’s so worth it.
I’m ready for the sickness and the self-doubt to fade away.
I’m ready for shelves upon shelves of scrapbooks and albums, filled to the brim with photographs and keepsakes of beautiful stories. Memories of once-in-a-lifetime days. I’m ready to start building a catalog of tall but true tales to tell my children and their children.
With these words on this page, I’m getting started. Let me just take a mental snapshot – Click! – and hit the ground running towards an adventurous life. I deserve it. And so do you.
Anne Taylor is a lover of stories. Through writing, blogging, and community outreach, she strives to help people live life with intention and joy, and equip them with the resources they need to share their passions and stories with others to help make a better world. Anne is a writer, owner of the blog Anne the Adventurer, and is currently working on her first book. She lives in Denver with her husband, Spencer.