I miss you guys. I miss writing. I miss The Lipstick Gospel and the lovely space we’ve created together.
Life has been a whirlwind for the last few weeks. I’ve been meaning to tell you about it, my fingers itching to tell stories, to describe all that I’m seeing and doing, and especially feeling. I’ve been doing so much feeling lately. But I just haven’t been able to write.
Some of it’s been busyness. In the past few weeks I’ve been to Atlanta, Nashville, Indianapolis, Nashville again, Atlanta, Denver, and back to Atlanta. I’ve packed most of my belongings and everything Carl owns into a U-Haul and driven to a state that’s almost entirely unfamiliar to me.
Then I drove back and found myself sleeping on a mattress on the floor, my room barely traversable as it was covered in boxes and wedding things and everything that was left behind in the first half of my move to Tennessee.
I’ve been working and organizing and packing and planning. My phone has been blowing up and I’ve been trying (and failing) to keep all of the important details in need rows inside my brain.
But my brain isn’t functioning in neat rows these days. In fact, it looks a lot like my room—boxes upon boxes, journals and books and suitcases and wedding presents littering the floor. It’s stuffed to the brim, and overflowing freely. It’s a mess. But a beautiful one.
So I haven’t been writing because I simply haven’t had the time. It’s the messy truth, and not one I love, but it’s the truth nonetheless. And I’m learning heaps about grace as I check on my poor, neglected blog every once in awhile. Poor Lipstick Gospel. I didn’t mean to abandon you!
But the other reason I haven’t been writing is because I just haven’t been able to.
In my life, there are times for living and times for writing. They’re times I love equally, but for totally different reasons.
Living times are wild. They’re nights of staying up late, and running from one thing to the next. They’re champagne toasts, celebration, fun, and the wind in my hair. These are the times when the stories unfold. This is where the action happens—the times that move you from one place to another—metaphorically and often, physically. This is when you experience those moments that remind you all over again how good God is and how beautiful life is.
And then there are times for writing. Writing times are slower, steadier, quieter. They’re early mornings, and quiet times, and moments alone. They’re steaming mugs of coffee, and sweet music that opens things up in you that you forgot were hidden in there. This is the time for reflection, when you actually learn the lessons from the action of the season before.
My life is divided up like this. There’s time for living the stories, and time for telling the stories. There’s time for action, and time for reflection, time for life and time for writing.
These last few weeks have been full to exploding with life.
The last few weeks, few months even, have been so full of people I love, so filled with celebration for Carl and I and the covenant we’re about to step into. It’s been a time of living so fully that I find myself weeping with gratitude for the life I’ve been given.
This time in my life is beautiful and it’s messy all at once. There are moments when I am sure I can’t possibly be filled with more joy, and moments that are ridiculously frustrating — all the final details that come with being a week out from your wedding.
There are moments when I feel totally pragmatic—how am I going to clean up this mess in my room, and what do I need to pack and take where? And there are moments when I’m bowled over by the emotion and meaning of this season of my life.
It’s a beautiful mess. Life is stunningly beautiful, and unbelievably messy, all at once.
But it hasn’t been a season for writing, and for that, I’m sorry.
So today, I want to say hello and that I miss you, and that I promise I haven’t forgotten about you.
I also want to tell you that in order to live this season fully, I’m going to take the month of July off from writing on The Lipstick Gospel.
I’m going to live as big and fully as I can, focusing on my friends and family and the wonderful man who’s about to be my husband. I’m going to go on a honeymoon and come back and make a new home in Nashville, Tennessee.
But come the beginning of August, I’ll be back. And I’ll have a ton of new stories to tell.
All my love, and see you in August!