We are all more aware than ever of the perks of being in a relationship. Facebook and Instagram have made singleness harder as it gives us something gleaming and edited to compare our Friday night to.
With a steady stream of relationship evidence at our literal fingertips, it’s really hard not to feel like you’re coming up short. Or like your life would be much better if there was a man at your fingertips instead of your iPhone.
And while I could come up with a million reasons why being in a relationship is amazing, and a million reasons why being single is just plain hard, I also want to take a moment to give some airtime to something that gets forgotten almost constantly.
5 Reasons why Being Single is Awesome:
1. You get to revel in that Super Single Behavior
A Super Single Behavior is a habit, activity, or quirk that you do sometimes without realizing it.
They’re the best.
Your vice could be a certain TV show, or chick flicks as you fall asleep. It might be a strange combination of food, or cleaning in your underwear.
My latest one is eating in bed—I’m the queen of this mattress and I can do what I want. (But I am careful about crumbs. Nobody likes a crumby bed.)
But regardless of what they are—they’re fun, and a total perk of not being married.
2. Uninterrupted time with your friends
One of my favorite friends here in Georgia has a fantastic husband. Their story is amazing and will make you gasp, cry, and cheer at every turn. But despite her total jackpot of a man, we would always find her stopping by our apartment every few days just to say hi.
“I just miss living with girlfriends,” she admitted, “husbands are great, but it’s just not the same as life being a constant sleepover.”
3. You fight less
Relationships are an inevitable catalyst to growth—pushing you and pulling you out of habits, thought patterns, and unhealthiness you never knew was there.
And yes, while I’m convinced that being in a relationship will make you a better person—this process is hard.
Have you ever been around a couple who is fighting about something ridiculous? You watch the argument unfold wanting to shake each of them out of this totally unnecessary disagreement.
Well that’s what growth looks like folks.
It looks like frustration for what seems like no reason to an outsider, and it often happens in moments that are embarrassingly inconvenient.
Love this couple as they duke it out and grow just a little bit more. And then spend one tiny gloating moment being thankful that, at least today, your growth doesn’t look like arguing at a neighborhood BBQ.
4. You call the shots
I’m a firm believer in the fact that you can still have adventures when you’re married. However, I can concede the point that when you attach your life to another person’s, you’re traveling with twice the baggage.
You each have dreams and passions and goals and desires and there are going to be times that you have to compromise some of yours for the sake of theirs (and vice versa).
And that is good and beautiful. But in the meantime, you get to call the shots.
Want to move to Spain to teach English? Do it! Want to quit your job and get paid almost nothing for something you’re passionate about? Great!
Your dreams can absolutely happen in a relationship, but they happen more directly (and more spontaneously) when you’re not.
5. You have the focus to achieve your dreams
I’ve traveled a lot and almost every time I’ve left the country, I’ve left a boy behind. I swear it’s a curse.
I’ve loved my experiences overseas, but I can’t pretend that I didn’t spend a lot of my time thinking about the boy and wishing he was there.
It’s hard to fully concentrate on one place when your heart is somewhere else. And this is true of relationships too.
Even when you’re in the same area code, your mind is always partially with that person. You’re thinking about their wants, needs, what they’re doing, and where they are. Your mind and your heart are no longer in the same place all the time. One is sometimes lagging behind, or over across town, across the country, or across the world.
And while this sounds romantic, there is something to be said about having your mind, heart, and body all in one place. The sky is the limit with that kind of time, focus, and attention. It’s the perfect time to dive deeply into your dreams and watch as they start to come true.
Being in a relationship is awesome. But just because relationships are great, doesn’t mean that singleness has to suck. The grass is green on both sides.
And I think that if we really take the time to look, we’ll notice that the grass under our feet is just begging us to lay down in it and watch the clouds roll by.
So enjoy this season—however it finds you. Find the things that you can be grateful for and soak them in.
Because although relationships are awesome—so is being single.
What awesome things have you been able to do in single seasons of your life?