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Create A Life You Love

I wish I was making progress FASTER (A note for the girl who’s feeling impatient with herself and her life)

I'm Stephanie May Wilson!

I'm an author and podcaster and my specialty is helping women navigate big decisions, life transitions β€” creating lives they love.

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Create A Life You Love: Comes out on April 30th!

First of all, can I just say that it's FALL here in Spain β€” at least in Granada β€” and I didn't see that coming. In Nashville, where Carl and I have been living for the last 10 years, it's full-on summer all the way into October. Sure, we drink PSLs, consider wearing the fall sweaters we've already purchased, try to talk ourselves out of buying yet another “Happy Fall Y'all” throw pillow.

But temperature-wise? It's still totally summer. Like mid-80s. Sweaty.

So when packing for Spain β€” and really, getting rid of everything I own that wasn't going to make it into my suitcase β€” I leaned slightly more towards summer clothes, figuring I had until at LEAST October to buy a sweater or a light jacket.

But here we are, still in September, and it's chilly outside! To be clear, it's GLORIOUS. I'm not complaining at all! It's crisp and lovely and not actually cold and still pretty warm later in the day.

But I need to run down to Zara and pick up a light jacket ASAP!

Fall is officially here in Spain!

Speaking of things I didn't see coming…

One of the predominant feelings I've been wrestling with these last few weeks is impatience.

Weird, right? πŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ Homesickness, expected. Impatience? Not so much. Especially not as I'm in the midst of living out one of the biggest dreams I have for my life. (I've wanted to move to Spain FOR.EVER!)

I've talked about this ad nauseam lately (mostly because it was so shocking to me! How do other working parents handle summertime!? I just don't get it!) but I wasn't able to work much this summer.

I definitely felt impatient over the summer β€” excited for some help with the girls, some time to get work done, some time to myself.

But now that that time is here, I'm feeling a different kind of impatience swirling around in my stomach.

Now that I HAVE time to work on things β€” now that I HAVE time to myself β€” I want to do all the things all at the same time and in a zillion different areas of life and work…

I'm frustrated that I'm NOT THERE YET.

Now, of course, the trick of “Not there yet” is asking yourself β€” not where?  Often, we don't have a destination clearly identified, or we do, and we're putting way too much pressure on it β€” thinking that achieving that one thing will solve all our problems in one fell swoop.

(Which is why I'm so passionate about teaching my course for single women and for newlyweds β€” when we put too much pressure on marriage we do ourselves a HUGE disservice!)

I've been guilty of both of those mindsets a time or two… or a thousand.

But today, now that I have a minute to do the things I want to do, I want to do them all, all at the exact same time, and I want to see progress now.

If I'm honest, I want the fruit of labor I haven't actually done yet.

Ever feel that way?

And then the overwhelm sets in:

And when I look at the goals I have for my life (or this next small chapter of it) and all the labor it's actually going to take to get there, that's when I start to get overwhelmed.

How am I going to do that?! 🫠

My goals and dreams start to feel impossible. I'm tempted to quit before I even get started.

If you're anything like me, at this point in a blog post, you find yourself thinking, “Details, lady! What are you talking about specifically!?

The three things on my mind in particular are:

1. Spanish

A huge reason for us moving to Spain is that we all really want to work on our Spanish. The girls don't speak Spanish yet (but they will soon!), and Carl and I do speak Spanish, but we want to get a lot better.

Beautiful doorway in Spain
Charming city streets in Spain


I can talk to pretty much anybody about pretty much anything at this point. But there's some nuance, some vocabulary, and a couple of pesky verb tenses that I tend to get tripped up on.

My Spanish goal is that when I talk to someone, they go, “Where are you from!?”  I want to sound as much like a local as I possibly can.

(Hey, a girl can dream, right!?!)

But if I AM going to sound like a local (or, you know, more like a local than I do today), you know what that's going to take? A lot of work.


2. Work

I'm feeling impatient about work too. I spent the last two years working on my latest book, and now I'm itching to do all the other things I didn't get to focus on during that time. And I don't just want to start those projects, I want them to be taking off already!

3. My physical health and fitness

Truth? The last time I worked at building muscle and strengthening my body was before my kids were born. (They're turning 4 in November. 😳)

I'm starting to hear whisperings of how important it is to build physical strength now if we want to have it when we get into our later years in life.

(Trying not to do too much research about this so I don't get even MORE impatient and overwhelmed).

And so I want to work on strengthening and caring for my body β€” a task that feels totally overwhelming from where I sit today.

4. Friendship

We're new here in Granada, and while I'm FOREVER grateful to have my best friend here with me, we also want to get to know more people, new people, make new friends β€” for ourselves and for our kids!

Exploring Spain with one of my best friends and her family



Community takes work. It doesn't happen overnight. So that's another thing that's a bit daunting from where I sit today. (More than daunting, it just makes me tired to think about. It's so much easier to stay at home and in your comfort zone).

(This is what I'll do when I dive in!! It's what's gotten me through so many seasons of making new friends in the past!)

So, here's why I share this with you:

  1. Because if you're feeling this way, you're not alone. It's always so good to know that, right?
  1. I wanted to share with you the two things I keep coming back to β€” the reminders that are helping me take a deep breath and also giving me a path through.

The first, is a Chinese proverb I heard recently:

It says,

“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is today.”

I've seen this truth at work in other parts of my life and work.

My podcast, for example. Girls Night is rounding the corner on 8-million downloads. (WHAAA?!?!) SO crazy). BUT β€” every time someone asks me about the podcast and how it's grown the way it has, I say, “I started it in 2017!” It's had a long time to grow. I planted this particular tree a long time ago.

So that's what I'm trying to keep that in mind when working on new things. Plant the tree today β€” a year from now, it'll be a lot taller than it is today…

But it CAN'T start growing until you plant it.



The other thing I keep thinking about is something I learned from James Clear β€” the master of habits, himself.

He says,

“If you get one percent better each day for one year, you’ll end up thirty-seven times better by the time you’re done.”

That's SO compelling to me. I can't get like, 1000% better overnight β€” no matter how much I may want to. But I can get 1% better. And the fact that those improvements compound over time β€” a snowball rolling down the hill and gaining momentum as it grows β€” I can't stop thinking about that.

So what does that look like for my Spanish, for my health, and for my work, and for my friendships?

Well β€” I'm trying to start one new thing at a time.

I also know that a half-finished something doesn't do anyone any good. So one thing at a time, taking it on until it feels like it's part of my day, part of my life, not quite the struggle things are at the very beginning.

Work has come first, and next will be Spanish.

I'm thinking about where I want to be a year from now, and what kind of habit or routine I can put into my day so that I'm getting 1% every day.

A year from now, I know I'll be SO glad I started today.

Can you relate to this? Is it just me who has big dreams and feels totally impatient as I try to pursue them?

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  1. Jaedyn says:

    This is something I know, but need to hear over & over & over! I used to live in Germany, and one thing I regret was how hard I was on myself about learning German – I thought it would never happen and I was doing it all wrong, and then one day it all fell into place and I always forget to look back and appreciate the struggle to get there.

  2. Anna Pate says:

    Gosh, I really needed this real message after a rough night of feeling at a total loss. Thank you for sharing and being honest. I love those two quotes as well that I wrote them down. A glimmer of hope.

  3. Alina Gonzalez says:

    It helps to know we’re not alone. I have a bucket list of things and want to see the fruits of my labor, like you said, but I still have a lot of work to do. I must stay laser focused and be optimistic for what’s to come now and for 2025. Cheers to you my friend.

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