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The Lipstick Gospel

Wrangling Our Wiggly Writing Selves

I'm Stephanie May Wilson!

I'm an author and podcaster and my specialty is helping women navigate big decisions, life transitions β€” creating lives they love.

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Writing is tricky – a high dive off of the surface into the miry depths of your mind, swimming around in the muck, scouring for meaning.


Writing is one of those things that tries to masquerade as something illusive, like a puff of smoke or a firefly. One minute it’s there and the next, it’s gone – leaving you grasping at the air, trying to find it again.


Writing is rich with myths – the idea of a muse or an inspiration or that it’s something that requires a quiet space and lots of smelly candles.


It’s like a prima donna pop star, β€œplease bring me a bowl of M&M’s, but I only like the red ones.” It’s something that makes us work, makes us sweat – promising us success and quick turnarounds if we’ll bend over backwards to it’s ridiculous requests.


Writing is something that sneaks up on me in the most inconvenient moments. I’m usually at dinner or halfway through a shower when inspiration strikes. My thoughts start to weave themselves into easy, flowing prose – my thoughts making sense for the first time in awhile.


I’ll jump out of the shower as quickly as possible, sprinting to my laptop to try to capture the words before they evaporate. Sometimes I make it in time, but sometimes arrive just a little too late – wet and irritated as my idea sputters out halfway through.


And then there are the moments (and days like today) when the pile of articles to write starts to feel like an insurmountable mountain. It starts to weigh heavily on me like the worst kind of to-do list, and the pressure zaps any creativity that might have been brewing before I plopped into my chair.


But even though writing sometimes feels like a firefly in it’s quick, disappearing beauty, or a prima donna with it’s extravagant requirements for a performance, I think that writing and the whacked out inner selves that make it happen just need some discipline.


If you’ve ever been a student in middle school (or college), chances are that you’ve faked sick a time or two. There are some days when going to school just sounds like a drag and when doing anything else (even lying in bed pretending to be sick) sounds preferable.


When I was young I tried all of the tricks. But my sweet, sympathetic mother actually didn’t require much of a performance. She took most of our excuses with sympathy and grace – allowing us sick days and the space we needed to get better.


The problem was that we abused her kindness – or at least I did.


I look at my unruly, inner, writing self in the same way. She’s strategic in the ways she tries to evade me. She wiggles around, faking sick, and crying on cue – pleading for my sympathy and just a few more days before she actually has to show up and get things done.


But since it takes one to know one, I’ve caught onto her tricks. I see her whining and her crying and her pleading, and know that I’m not doing her (or myself) any favors by indulging her procrastinating requests.


The truth is that writing is as simple as expressing something with words. We’re never actually without words, at a loss for words, or tongue-tied. Words are always there and if we push ourselves a little, we can usually choke out a few.


But there is a small amount of sympathy that I have for my small, writing self. The words she squeezes onto the page don’t have to be good.


Anne Lamott talks about β€œshitty first drafts” in her book Bird by Bird – showing us the beauty and inevitability of writing total garbage the first time around.


We don’t have to start well; we don’t even have to make sense. But we do have to start.


And so this is the technique that I’m employing these days – wrangling my wiggly writing self into her chair and making her squeeze out a few words.


And what I’m finding is that words don’t disappear like a firefly or a cloud of smoke, but that writers block does. It fades and disappears – a bit embarrassed to have been found out. And there we are, my writing self and I, our thoughts flowing onto the page with ease, paddling around happily in the depths by candlelight.


What keeps you from writing?Β 


Originally written as a guest post for Anne the Adventurer. (If you haven't checked out her blog, I highly recommend it. It's one of my favorites!!)

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  1. the fear that I don’t make any sense.
    the fear that I won’t sound eloquent enough (which is really vain of me).
    the fear that i sound like someone else.

  2. Kadi says:

    Hi Stephanie!

    I recently found your blog (I’m new to blogging) and I simply love it!! Your posts are so inspiring!! I’m encouraged again this morning!

    Thanks for sharing!

  3. Lauren Verner says:

    Thank you! I’m doing a master’s right now and I’m starting the process of my dissertation, so I need to get writing (a different kind of writing than what you get to do, but the principle of just starting to put some words on a page holds true). This was just the kind of reminder I needed. πŸ™‚ I’m so glad I discovered your blog through Prodigal Magazine!

    • Stephanie says:

      Lauren, I’m so glad you found my blog too! I’m also glad that this encouraged you in your dissertation! Hey… writing is writing! πŸ™‚ Good luck!

  4. Stephanie- if this is you “uninspired” and stressed out with a mountain of writing “to-do’s” then what kind of genius could you write completely unencumbered and inspired? I am in awe of your colorful descriptions and your turn of phrase. Your voice on paper is a beautiful and melodic as your natural voice is when you sing. I know that writing can be a struggle, but you seem to be wrangling the written word with wisdom and wit. I learn from you every time I open a new email from The Lipstick Gospel. Thank you for your authenticity.

  5. What keeps me from writing is a million little things all wrapped up tidy inside myself. Sometimes I have doubts that my words make the difference or make sense. Other times the challenge of making writing a living seems impossible. Its my daily passion. Some are runners or teachers. I am a writer. My own thoughts do not make sense until I write them down in front of me to see. The process drags me out of confusion and into a nonchaotic simple view of the world.

    • Stephanie says:

      I love this “Some are runners or teachers. I am a writer.” My thoughts don’t make a whole lot of sense until I write them either. I think that we have to just get our words out and hope that just the act of writing them down will make a difference. Our stories need to be heard! I hope that you’ll continue to tell yours Samantha! Thank you so much for reading!

  6. Duane Scott says:

    I love this. As I also loved your post at Prodigal today.

    Anyway, what keeps me from writing?

    It’s time, right now, but that’s all about to change in a month when I am done with school. This was just a wonderful read and I’m going to subscribe to your blog to keep reading.

    Keep writing!

    • Stephanie says:

      Duane, thank you so much for reading! I’m glad that you’re going to get to have more time to write. It’s hard to carve out time, but it’s so worth it! πŸ™‚

  7. wsteeb says:

    Thank you for the encouragement to write. I need to just. do. it.

    I don’t write when I lack inspiration, when the words are not already flowing in my head as you talked about. But, I am learning that writing requires hard work and diligence rather than merely waiting for the words. I struggle that I have nothing significant to say and also with the vulnerability that writing naturally draws out.

    As I have slowly started heeding God’s call to share my story, your blog remains such an encouragement in that process and in the day to day. Thank you for writing with boldness and beauty!

  8. Susan :) says:

    I’ve found that the more “profound/deep/personal/life-changing in a way that can be only be God at work in huge ways in my life” my words are when they are still in my heart, the more my “wiggly writing self” shows up. I WANT to record the words on my heart (and perhaps even share them someday), but then she pulls one of her tricks and I am left staring at my screen in Microsoft Word, having gotten very few words out (and usually those are words that just scratch the surface of what needs to be said).

  9. Erika says:

    Wow, I really needed to read this. It’s so funny. Haha. This morning, I was having a lot of writer’s block and I was struggling with how to express this very feeling… how to articulate it. I ended up writing something completely different, but today and yesterday, I’ve been mulling over the concept of “commitment,” especially with regards to my writing. Sometimes, you just have to do it. Stop waiting for the perfect words or the perfect moment — though those happen sometimes — and just. do. it. Keep going forward. Thanks for this, definitely saving it as a reference for that inevitable moment when I have writer’s block again! πŸ™‚

  10. domain says:

    First off I would like to say superb blog! I had a
    quick question in which I’d like to ask if you don’t mind.

    I was interested to find out how you center yourself and clear
    your head before writing. I’ve had trouble clearing my mind in getting my thoughts out there.
    I do enjoy writing but it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are
    usually wasted simply just trying to figure out how to begin.
    Any ideas or hints? Thank you!

    • Stephanie May Wilson says:

      Great question! I think it’s perfectly fine that the first 10-15 minutes are a waste. I think that’s true for just about everybody. The best way to get focused in your writing (I’ve found) is to just start. Lots of writers end up throwing out the first several paragraphs, finding that they really started getting to the point towards the bottom or on page two. The fact that you’re starting, and that you’re finding yourself more focused 10-15 minutes in is a great thing!! Keep going!

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