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The Lipstick Gospel

4 Ways to Stay In Love With God (and each other)

I'm Stephanie May Wilson!

I'm an author and podcaster and my specialty is helping women navigate big decisions, life transitions — creating lives they love.

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4 Ways To Stay In Love With God And Each Other


A few weeks ago, Carl and I were blessed to be able to celebrate his parents’ 28th wedding anniversary. We went out on their family boat and celebrated, with a toast of champagne, relationships that last.


There were over 100 years of marriage squished onto that small boat. His aunt and uncle proudly celebrated 20 years while his grandparents boasted an incredible 55.


Carl and I brought up the rear with 8 months of dating but celebrated proudly along with them, listening to funny proposal stories and words from the wise on how to sustain a loving relationship for so many years.


A few months ago I got an email from one of my readers. She asked me for advice on what to do when your relationship with The Lord starts to feel stale.


God is dazzling. His world is a kaleidoscope of color and dimension and love that we could explore forever without finding an end. But sometimes we find ourselves lost in the woods and need some help figuring out, all over again, that God still hasn’t gone anywhere.


It's a topic that I've been sitting on for months, trying to figure out the perfect way to answer her question.


But as I racked my brain, I couldn’t stop thinking about that night on the boat.


And so inspired by Carl’s family, and with the lessons I’ve scraped together over my last several years as a Christian, here are some things we can do to snuggle up to our miraculous, kaleidoscope Father.


***

1. Quality time

In order to build trust and memories with someone in your life, you actually have to spend time with them. And the same is true with God.


If we're going to know and trust him, we have to log some quality time together. Intentionally, and without distraction, we have to create space where we can get to know each other—creating memories that we can call upon when we go through a particularly rocky patch.

2. Vulnerability


In relationships, conflict is inevitable. And often we try to sweep the clash under the rug—choosing temporary peace over the lasting kind that comes from resolved conflict and honesty.


But we do the same thing with the Lord. Instead of asking the hard questions and telling him how we really feel, we pray shined-up, sterile prayers, thinking that if we really had faith, we’d be obedient without complaint.


But what we forget is that God knows everything and is already well aware of how we feel. And as his children, we have the freedom to climb up into his lap, asking him about the things we don’t understand and telling him when we’re hurt.


Vulnerability breeds intimacy—with God and with each other.

3. Switch it up


For almost four years now I've woken up each morning to spend time with God. Sometimes it’s great, and sometimes it feels obligatory, but with a mix of Bible reading and journaling—it hasn’t varied much.


I tried to imagine how I’d feel if mine and Carl’s relationship looked like that—the exact same thing day after day… yikes!


I’ve grown so much in those morning quiet times, but I’ve since hit a place in my relationship with God where I desire more. I want to get out and experience life with him—and the beautiful part is that I think he wants that too.


The amazing thing about relationships and about life is that we get to constantly unwrap new gifts. We get to jump in a new body of water, climb a new mountain, and dance to a new song. The possibilities are endless and it's those new experiences that bring out different dimensions in our relationships.


The same is true for God. Try something new—explore a place you've never been before, go on a mission trip or to a worship night or read a new kind of book. By trying something new, you get to see a new dimension of God, sparking your love for him in a whole new way.

4. Say thank you


Einstein says that we can either live as if nothing is a miracle, or as though everything is a miracle, and I choose everything. I want to live with my eyes wide to the good parts of life and a thank you on the tip of my tongue, ready to praise the giver of the best gifts.


I think that the best way to inspire fresh love in any relationship—including our relationship with God—is to look for the good things, very much on purpose, and to celebrate them. It’s a great way to make people feel appreciated, but cultivates a habit of noticing the wonderful things about the people in our lives—increasing our love and appreciation for them all over again.


***


Just like any other relationship, our relationship with God can be hard. It goes through seasons—ebbing and flowing for a million different reasons.


But the best part is that God isn’t going anywhere. Even on the days that he feels most distant, we can rest assured that he’s there—exactly where he said he’d be, close and loving and dazzling—if only we’d take the time to see.


How do you seek God when you feel far away? 

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  1. This is awesome, Stephanie! Love your thoughts here!

    When I feel far away from God I try to be more deliberate in treating my prayer time with Him as more than me just simply talking and praying…I try to be super intentional about making it a conversation…I’m not just talking but listening as well. And it’s not like I hear God audibly or anything, but I do get thoughts, ideas, and even a heavy heart about certain situations during those prayer times…and I’d like to think that those are moments when God is speaking to me. Communication is so important in our day to day relationships with those closest to us, but I also think it’s even more important to be in communication with God. Prayer should be more than just asking God for things, blessings, miracles…and it should even be more than just telling Him “Thank you” for all He does for us…we need to communicate with Him and really the most important part of communication is the “listening” side.

    Great post!

    • I also just wanted to clarify that I wasn’t bashing your 4th point of saying “Thank You”…I think it’s super important to give thanks to God for all the sweet glories He provides for us in our lives. I was just attempting to emphasize the importance of letting Him speak to us just as much as we are speaking to Him. I hope that makes sense…sorry if I was confusing at all :o)

    • Hi, Jeremy! Love what you said about being intentional to make it a conversation. This is something I’m working on in my own walk. I often just talk and talk and talk during prayer, and I know I need to learn to get more comfortable with just silence…with just “being still and knowing.”

  2. Rachel says:

    This is beautiful. So helpful and inspiring. I particularly like the thanksgiving part of rekindling your relationship, which is something I neglect. I thank God at set times, feeling very formal about it, but if I go through seasons of thanking Him moment by moment, silently or out loud, I fall in love with Him in new ways countless times each day.

  3. Mia says:

    Reblogged this on My Life in Words and commented:
    “God is dazzling.”
    Stay in love. Always.

  4. I just LOVE this post. Especially the part about switching it up. I want my relationship with God to be vibrant and colorful and exciting, and I know this means I cannot just view time with him as something to check off my list. It’s easy to fall into routine (in any relationship), and I know I can be more intentional about this in my walk with the Lord.

  5. […] beautiful believer and blogger Stephanie, over at The Lipstick Gospel said something that truly spoke to heart… “God is dazzling. His world is a […]

  6. Shara Nelson says:

    Great stuff! My husband helped me learn #2. I live and love it now. Brings such intimacy.

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