Today I wanted to share with you one of my favorite days from my book, The Lipstick Gospel Devotional. The truth is, I can’t read this devo without crying. It documents such a hard moment for me, a moment that I think so many of us have experienced or might be experiencing right now.
But it also documents such an important truth that has gotten me through such challenging times in my life. I am praying it brings as much comfort to you as I know it has to me.
“One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that you, O God, are strong, and that you, O Lord, are loving.” – Psalm 62:11-12a
Fading on my palm in blue, ballpoint pen was this: “God is good; God is faithful.”
God’s character is deeper and wider than the sea, but that day, I just didn’t care. That day, that’s all I needed to know.
“God is good; God is faithful.”
My room was a mess. It looked like I’d been robbed — the thieves looking for anything valuable, finding nothing, and leaving heaps of unfolded laundry behind.
The space by the front door looked like a mountain range. A mountain of books, a mountain of clothes, a mountain of shoes, and a growing mountain of kitchen-wear that my mom kept adding to every time she’d walk by.
I never thought I’d move away from Colorado. And I never imagined moving away would be so hard.
This wasn’t my first time leaving Colorado by any means. I’d been away from home more times than I could count. I’d pack up and leave for a while, go on an adventure, study abroad, leave for camp, and then wander home again. I thought I’d always wander home.
But this time, I knew something was different. This time I was leaving. Actually leaving.
This time I wasn’t packing a bathing suit or two, some sunscreen, or a tent. This wasn’t that kind of adventure.
This was the kind of adventure where you need to buy things like brooms and mops and dish towels. I had to buy mugs, and plates, and spoons, and things to clean my shower. I was moving away — 22 hours away if we want to be exact.
22 hours is not a quick drive home. I can’t swing by for lunch or to pick up a sweater I’ve forgotten. I can’t go to church on Sunday with my parents or be there for every birthday party or baby shower. There’s no deadline to my gone-ness. No day when I know for sure I’ll be coming back.
I was moving away, and my heart ached under the possible permanence of it.
We all come to these moments in our lives: the moment when it’s time to leave. Maybe it’s a relationship, or a job, or a way of life, or maybe you’re leaving for college, or to study abroad, or maybe like me, you’re moving away from your hometown.
You know it’s what you’re supposed to do. You’ve thought it over a hundred times, prayed about it until you were totally out of words, asked for advice, insight, input, and this is the conclusion you came to. This is what you have to do.
It’s going to be better, best, amazing. God is going to be there and do incredible things in this next season of your life. But when you’re actually doing the leaving, hearing that doesn’t really help. We’re too busy aching from the loss of what we already know, and the fear and unfamiliarity of what’s ahead.
There was no doubt in my mind that this was where I was supposed to go. I had been offered the perfect job in Georgia, and I knew I was supposed to take it. But that didn’t make it any easier.
This was a lot of things — blessed, right, good, beautiful — but it was certainly not easy.
I knew that the next day I would be getting into my car, and driving away from my house, my home, my family, my friends, my life, for the last time for a long time. And the thought of it made me suck in a deep breath, hoping that if I filled my lungs with enough air, I wouldn’t feel the deep pain in my chest.
This was an adventure, a new one, a great one. I knew God had amazing things in store. But, in that moment, I didn’t need to be reminded of those things. In that moment, as I put one foot in front of the other into the next step of my life, I didn’t need to know much of anything.
I just needed to know that God is good and that God is faithful.
And He is.
Whatever you’re facing today, that’s what I want you to know too. God is good; God is faithful. Maybe you need to find a blue ballpoint pen and write it on your hand too. God is good; God is faithful. I promise He is and the best part is, He promises that too.
P.S. For more from The Lipstick Gospel Devotional, click right here!